the face of grace: September 2015

After two years living, working and travelling in the UK and Europe, I have come home to Australia to visit my family, get a new Visa for England and organise myself and my things to move to England more permanently. It’s less than two weeks until I return to England (providing my Visa is approved).

Coming home has been wonderful and challenging and has brought up a lot of emotions. During my first week back I felt really uncomfortable; so much has stayed exactly the same here. Part of me felt like the last two years hadn’t even happened; had I even been away? I’ve grown up a lot over the last couple of years; I’ve learnt a lot, experienced a lot, travelled a lot and become aware of other cultures and how people live. My priorities have changed, my wants and needs have changed, my perspective has changed. My outlook on life has changed.

Travelling has helped me to see what is important. I have lived a privileged life. I have been lucky. I have been spoilt. I still am. I have things in my possession that I have no need for, no use for. Two years I ago I could not part with my stuff. Moving around has shown me that stuff that is not important or useful and has no sentimental value is a burden. Coming back and unpacking all my boxes of stuff was so liberating. I don’t have this unhealthy and over the top attachment to stuff anymore. It was easier than I thought to sort my stuff out, to part with things that once were important, to pass things onto people who need it or appreciate it more than me, to keep just a couple of boxes full of memories and to select things to take back to England.

However, it hasn’t all been easy. I have to sell my car. I do feel slightly silly about how attached I am to my car, but saying goodbye to her symbolises saying goodbye to something much more important than some metal and an engine on wheels. My first car gave me freedom and independence. Living 30 minutes out of town meant that I had to get a lift with my parents if I wanted to go anywhere. I got my first car for my birthday and all my family helped put in money for it. This car has gone to festivals, loaded up with tents and sleeping bags on the roof-racks. It’s pulled other peoples’ cars out of the mud. This car has gone to parties in the bush, hours away. It has jump started friends’ cars. It has had baby seats in it for looking after my nieces and nephews. It has carried all my things when I moved out of home. It’s picked friends and family up from the airport. It’s taken me to work everyday and allowed me to earn a living. I’ve learnt how to change a tyre, how to reverse parallel park and how to check my oil and water! I had this idea that I was going to have this car for a while. That I’d have it when I settled down. That I’d have my own baby seats in it. Yes, it may seem silly to have such an attachment to it, but I do, and it’ll be hard to see her go.

I guess packing up my things means that this is real, I am really properly moving back to England. And I am so excited about this. I love it there. But I also love it here. Being back has reminded me of all the things I love here, at home - The Original Home. The open space. The freedom. The warmth. The birds. The wallabies. The small community. Memories of growing up. The schools I went to. Waterholes we used to swim in. Mountains we used to climb. Friends we used to hang out with. I am saying goodbye to that part of life and moving onto the next bit. That is okay, but it has taken time to let it sink in, and to welcome the idea of new opportunities and possibilities life brings. I am looking forward to it.

While I’ve been back in Aus I’ve caught up with a few old friends - the kind of friends that you might not see for a while, you might not keep in touch with, but they’re still your friends and that won’t change. I’ve been able to catch up with all my nieces and nephews; we’ve been playing and wrestling and cuddling. I’ve been spending lots of time outside. I’ve realised how much being cooped up inside affects me. Give me fresh air over screens any day. I got to explore my own town and surrounding areas and go swimming in waterholes I used to visit as a teenager. I got to be a tourist in my own country, adventuring around Sydney catching up with family. We had a picnic with my Aunt and cousin (on my Mum’s side) - we got to sit and eat and look out across Sydney Harbour with the Bridge and the Opera House sparkling in the sun. I got to see my 90 year old Grandpa! He is super cool. We ran to keep up with him tootling along on his scooter. We stayed with my Aunt & Uncle and my cousins (on my Dad’s side). We got to go on a little road trip to my brother’s farm south of Sydney. We got to stay in a caravan. I got up at dawn and watched the sun rise and listened to the rooster crow. We picked vegies from my brother’s farm to sell at the market. We picked vegies to make our dinner. We ate homemade vegan chocolate brownies made by my brother’s partner. We went to a party and carved spoons around the fire. We were well fed - our bodies and our souls. Thank you to my awesome family for looking after us so well!

I’ve applied for my Visa and so now it is just a waiting game. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly. If all goes to plan I will be arriving in England on 24th September.

Thanks for visiting my little online space. Below are some photos from the last few weeks here in Australia. See you very soon! xxx