changes. again. a fresh start. again.

This is what I will do now. I'm making changes in my own way.

On Tuesday I quit my job street fundraising for Greenpeace. It is a good decision, the right decision. My reasons for leaving, though somewhat insignificant as they may seem by them self, all added up, and can result in a seriously shit time. I decided that Greenpeace is something that I really care about and I want to see truly passionate people out on the streets talking to people and raising money. I don’t think I am the right person to do that job, simply because I feel that I’m not able to put in all my effort. The skeptics, the loonies, the snide remarks and the downright rude comments, they all add up. It doesn’t affect some people, but it got to me. This doesn’t necessarily make me weak or sensitive. But it does mean that I’m not able to maintain my positive, motivated and enthusiastic attitude for the whole day. And as time wears on, albeit short, you wake up every day feeling just a little bit less like going to work, you don’t want to listen to that. Damn it, you don’t have to listen to that. And so I thought I should cut and run. I will put my time and effort into doing something where I feel I can truly make a difference. It will definitely involve Greenpeace. I plan on volunteering for our local team. Greenpeace is such a close-nit organisation, full of brave, inspiring, passionate, generous and awesome people, and I want to be part of that. But I don’t want to be paid for it. I want to do it for myself and for the earth. And for my parents and for my children. I want my parents to see change, change that the younger generation has fought for. I want them to see some of what we accomplish, what we achieve, what we protect. They won’t see everything we do. But environmental protection, environmental respect, that is possible. I want my parents to see the Arctic made into a global sanctuary. I want my parents to know that their grandchildren and great grandchildren are going to enjoy a planet free from fracking, oil drilling, unsustainable fishing, animal cruelty, cruelty to each other! The frustrating thing is IT IS possible. It is more than achievable. Let’s do it. 

It’s starts at a local level. You don’t need to be signing up to charities or organisations to make a difference. I’m not saying don’t sign up, because your donations are integral to the functioning of such organisations. But what I am saying is you can make huge changes by getting involved at a local level. Pick up rubbish (yes you might feel silly doing it, people might gawk at you, but just do it!). Sit down next to that homeless guy and have a chat. Don’t ignore him as you walk past, don’t look at him like he’s scum. Because he’s not. And he has a bloody interesting story to tell to someone who genuinely wants to listen. Take that freezing, starving girl out to dinner with you and get to know her. She is actually really funny. Give your spare change to buskers. Buy that Big Issue and read it. Visit your local soup kitchen or animal shelter or the old friend you haven’t seen in months because your life has been too hectic. (Not to be patronising about the busyness of our lives.) But come on, we can do this, we can make time for these moments. They are precious. Precious exchanges, precious hugs, precious conversations, precious memories. I definitely know that some of the people I have met have changed the course of my life. Not always in a dramatic way, but they’ve challenged me, questioned me, got me thinking and questioning myself and my beliefs. They’ve educated me, inspired me, laughed with me. And it has only happened because I’ve been open, and honest. I’ve listened because I’m genuinely interested. I have sat on the freezing concrete and chatted with homeless people. And its hard for them. Even for the short amount of time I was sitting there, I noticed the looks people give you. They are looks of disgust, fear, confusion. Try a smile. It could change someone’s day. And that is my point. Changing the world at a local level can require very little effort. And really we have no excuses for excluding ourselves from this. 

I’ve been questioned about my beliefs and yes, they may seem somewhat idealistic. But I think it’s important to dream big, to truly believe that this is possible. We can change the world. Yes, there is definitely a massive chance of being hugely disappointed and becoming jaded and losing faith in humanity. But don’t take away my enthusiasm and motivation to create change. I feel that I am very much in touch with reality. And I’m definitely aware of how shit things can be, how shit the world can be. And how I’m just a teensy tiny part of the bigger picture. But I think saying that as individuals, we don’t have the power to make change, is an excuse. It’s lazy. Everyone can make change in their own way. I will end this post with a quote that really resonates with me, and I think more people should consider this.

“A person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it” - Chinese Proverb

i had a birthday. my 20th in the UK.

Some words that resonate with me at the moment.

Thursday 14th November was my 20th Birthday. I could not have asked for a better day of celebrations, with better people. It blows me away how much people accept you into their lives and make you feel so at home and comfortable in their groups. I've only been here about a month, but it is just insane, I feel like I've been here forever. I feel like all the people I'm meeting are my oldest and closest friends. A closeness where we are so comfortable around each other, no awkward silences, no awkward moments, just a feeling of home. Even people I've only met a couple of times have become such close friends, and we share such solid bonds. It really is the most fantastic and surreal thing. The effort my friends put in to make my day special was just mind blowing. 

Luke & Lula got up and cooked me a fantastic breakfast and gave me the performance of a lifetime, with costumes and singing and dancing. (It involved material and hats and cotton wool in their noses.. as well as a terrible song about how children are conceived..)

I see Noah Taylor (one of my favourite Aussie actors) at Brighton Train Station every morning when I'm on my way to work. He walks his wife to the train every day. The first time I saw him I decided I wouldn't interrupt them, but I was excited to have seen him. Then the next day I saw him again and spoke to him, complimented him on his work, and asked for a photo, which he refused. So it was quite embarrassing! And my Greenpeace team (who watched me get rejected) have been making fun of me ever since! But for my birthday my leader from Greenpeace got Noah Taylor to sign a card for me. Such a special thing!  We wondered if he would've refused knowing it was for me!

My team at Greenpeace made sure I had a good day full of laughs and fun, even though we were working. But hey, that's what they do every day! Saving the world, one sign up at a time!

My darling friend Annie wrote me the beautiful song for my birthday. Brought tears to my eyes it did. I feel that this is a real representation of what people are like here. I only met Annie once. She & Tildy stayed with us for the weekend. But we got along really well and now she's written me a song. And I think that is just so incredibly special. (Just to explain the clitoris part - I'm not sure how we got onto this, but it ended with us googling facts about the clitoris..)

My new friend Joel, the carpenter, made me a beautiful wooden box with my name carved into it, perfect to keep my small collection of jewellery in. I met Joel Rock Climbing a few weeks back and every time I went back he was always there. So we took it as a sign that we should probably be friends. And now we are.

My Dad continued the birthday tradition of writing limericks and wrote one for me. 

"There was a young lady called Grace

Who left so we'd have some more space

But it's still pretty tough

Cause she left all her stuff

And chucking it, we just can't face"

My Mum painted a picture of a magnolia flower, from the tree that was planted for me 20 years ago. She told me that there was only the one flower in bloom to paint. Such a special gift to receive in the mail. It is now hanging on my wall  next to my bed, reminding me of home.

My housemate Momo got me flowers, bright orange and pink roses, which I love. There's something about flowers that just brighten the mood, and make the house an even warmer and homely place. She also made me a bag of goodies including incense, a scarf, chocolate and an elephant keyring. [Momo, I love that we're forming a friendship, as well as just being housemates. I'm so grateful to be able to have girly chats with you.]

Kate, such a gorgeous, bubbly human. Knowing how much I love Felix from the Cat Empire, (we both went to see the Cat Empire at the O2 Academy in Brixton a few weeks back) she got a mug made for me with Felix's thoughts on it - "Wow, Grace Stewart is amazing..." She handed it to me saying "here, have the worst wrapped present in history". It might have been badly wrapped, but man, what a fantastic gift. And perfect for me drink the tea that Alice and Ezra got me. So today I sat down with a hot cup of tea, and ate some toast with homemade marmalade (also from Alice and Ezra). What a delicious combination.

My fabulous friend Justine got me an owl brooch, which I thought was just a HOOT! And it goes perfectly on my beautiful scarf from my Aunt Jenny and cousin Chloe back in Sydney! 

My darling Jem (who is a chef!) made me a vegan apple and cinnamon cake. Not just any apple and cinnamon cake. The most fantastic, delicious birthday cake I could hope for. Not too sweet, just right. When someone makes food to share, it tastes better - you really can taste the love.

Now you might think I've just listed a bunch of presents people have got for me, and that is very materialistic of me. But that is not the way it is intended. I wanted to say a big, huge, monstrous thank you for the effort put into these gifts. Because thought went into them. They're not just things. They mean something to me. And the point I'm trying to make is that the group I've become part of is so genuine, so caring and so real. Everyone exists as they are. No one is trying to be someone they're not. No one is hiding anything. Everyone is totally raw and comfortable in themselves, and as a result, everyone really knows each other. So when it comes to giving a gift, it is special because we know each other, and we know what we like and what we will appreciate. Everything that I was given was so heartfelt. And I think what surprises me most about that is that I have only been here a month. These relationships have been formed in such a short time, because we trust each other. I have learnt to trust a lot more. To be myself. To be comfortable in my own skin. To not worry about what others think. Because this group I'm part of, they don't care what others think. They think for themselves. And they can see the truth. And that is something that amazes me every day.

To my friends and family, new and old,

thank you, so so much!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

quietly. changes. realisation. appreciation.

This feels particularly relevant to me at present.

I have been super busy lately, but found some time whilst on the train on Thursday to write a bit.

I'm on the train to Southhampton for work. Currently have the time to collect my thoughts and reflect upon the last week or so, which has been hectic. Many things have happened, and many emotions have been felt. I've had my first week working for Greenpeace - a bit of a roller coaster ride emotionally. It is hard work, but all very rewarding. I've met some truly inspiring people who restore my faith in this world and its future. But there have also been things that sadden me and dishearten me. I guess those things just teach you to preserve and keep on keeping on. This past week has been so busy I feel like I have not even had time to think. Its been good, but I'm not sure how long I can sustain this busy life style. Obviously we're still settling in to the demands of the job and balancing it with social and everyday life. Lack of sleep has been a struggle this week. There's too many interesting things going on and I don't want to miss out. We'll see if I stay working for Greenpeace... The hours might be too demanding. After all, I am here to live and work, and I intend to do plenty of living. I'll put all my effort into this job while I'm here, but I'm not opposed to looking for other work!

Last night I did an interview with my friend Alice for a study on health and well being, which basically involved me telling a (reasonably, but not really) brief account of my life so far. It took roughly 2 hours, with some questions at the end. I was honest, and it was quite emotional. It is really hard to talk about yourself, and we got into some pretty in deep stuff. Actually saying some of your thoughts out loud can be strange . I think it was a really good thing to do though. Putting my thoughts into words was hard at times, but a good exercise for my mind - a challenge. I opened up about many things I feel have shaped me as a person, but of course this process of learning and growing is ongoing. We never stop - people are ever-changing. And at times I still have no clue who I am and what I'm doing on this earth.

Today, Sunday 10th November. I woke and showered which helped to cleanse my mind a bit. I spent the morning catching up on things that needed doing - emails, sorting things out, cleaning, washing my clothes, etc. Quite therapeutic completing normal household tasks like that. I skyped with my parents - always an enjoyable time. I also skyped with my best friend Archie, who I haven't seen in months! My housemates and I walked to the beach and sat in the sun for a while. We observed the tourists taking photos on their iPads and tablets and smartphones. Technology is a strange thing.

Momo and I went to Foodilic in town where we had and all-you-can-eat 'snack'. I went to the oxfam shop and picked up a winter jacket, which is quite warm and cosy. Met up with some friends. Drank some hot chocolate. Went bin raiding. Came home. Watched Samsara, a beautiful and powerful and very disturbing documentary - a collection of images and scenes, with no dialogue, just music. It should be watched rather than explained. I want everyone to watch it.

I am very tired and need to sleep now. My body is tired from rock climbing on Saturday, and my mind if tired from thinking about life. There are many other things I wish to speak about, to post on this blog, but my eyes are flickering. Sleep is calling. And Jem has just turned up, sweaty and breathless from cycling. x

Coming to the realisation that this is my home now. Feeling pleasant.

I went to the movies with Faezeh and we saw Blue Jasmine. There was so much laughter. Such cherished moments.

Meet Len. I met him on the street while I was fundraising. We had a lovely conversation & he was very well read & educated on all current affairs including the situation with the Arctic 30. Then, on my lunch break we ended up sitting at the same table because there were no seats. He told me all about his views about the world, what needs to be done & how he'd go about it. This remarkable man is 97 & it was an honour to be able to speak with him. So blessed to have the opportunity to do this through my job!

i'm settled. fortunate. content. ready.

part one:

so it's been 10 days. gosh, only 10 days! i've been busy. i moved out of the hostel and into the house, which is very exciting. i got a mattress for £10 from a place called Shabitat (aka Magpie Recycling) on Lewes Road. i got a duvet, a pillow & some sheets, and i treated myself to a nice blanket made from recycled plastic fibres, sounds uncomfortable but it is so amazingly snuggly and warm. i've been to job trials and interviews. and i have been successful. i have got a job working as a street fundraiser for greenpeace uk. i have training in London next wednesday, and then it is a monday to friday job in and around brighton. this is exciting and a little bit daunting for me. but i'm happy. 

i went to London and saw the cat empire play at the o2 academy, brixton, with my housemate ren. they were amazing, and it was really lovely to see them perform with ren, who loves their music as much as i do. we talked about it on the train home early the next morning, all its elements, what makes it great, their obvious passion for song writing and performance. the energy they have on the stage. the light show and all the work that goes into making the performance what it is: spectacular! it makes me miss my brother a bit. i always think of him when i hear the cat empire playing live. such exciting memories of those performances we went to together. i'm sure we will go to some more in the future..

circus - and a deeper understanding of life. i met faezeh through jem, a friend of luke's. we played around in the pavillion gardens last week, doing some acro & various other circusy things. then we attended a circus class together last friday. we caught the bus and walked to this plain old brick church in a sort of industrial area - and then inside it was crammed with mats, trampolines, gymnastics equipment... i discovered that my handstand is all wrong - my shape is terrible. my muscles are not strong enough and i am not balanced. and that is fine, good even. i have something to really work towards. practice practice practice. the other students in the class were amazing. just average people, they didn't look exceptionally fit or flexible at first glance, but they were incredible. i would've been quite happy to sit there and watch. i almost didn't want to try anything! but i will get my fitness up and one day i will feel that we are at the same level. i have to look at it as a goal. i feel like the more i realise that there are things i cant do, the more i want to give them a go, and learn and practice and succeed, or fail, but at least experience them. i think that is probably a dang good thing really. i think that is becoming my goal for every aspect of my life. jobs. food. circus. map reading! i just have to put myself out there, and it will pay off - i am already seeing that. i also think it is a bit easier because i am feeling content, being in such an accepting and supportive group of people... it is very natural. everything is natural. natural. its a word that keeps popping up in everything i think about, or examine or analyse. the people i am around are natural. i'm in a place where being natural is accepted, encouraged. 

sometimes i do feel very young, and naive, and inexperienced. i am young. sometimes i feel like a fraud, like the words i say or the way i live my life isn't real or true. but that is because i am not 100% totally sure about myself, and my views and opinions. and i might never be. i mean, who am i? who the hell am i? there will always be doubts. i am living with people who are older and have had such interesting and soulful experiences and adventures. i have to keep reminding myself that when i am their age, i will be able to look back on this period of my life in the same way they describe their early 20s to me. it is a scary and brilliant time, with lots of exploring. every day i am challenged - i think about the world, i think about myself, and what i am doing in this world. and what i can do, and should do, and will do. my obligations, my responsibilities. my wants. my needs. things i'm greedy about. things i don't take enough notice of. things i care about too much. my priorities. my decisions. my choices. things i've missed out on. things i regret. things i plan to do. there is a lot to think about. 

i am in a hugely uncertain time in my life. and that is good. i am enjoying the uncertainty, because although it is uncertain, it is still safe. it is uncertain on my terms. i have the power to make it anything i want it to be. i have been reading about the greenpeace activists who are currently incarcerated in a russian prison on hooliganism charges (just down graded from piracy), and they are facing 7 years behind bars. now that is uncertainty. and it is certainly not on their terms. they can fight, and they will, but it is not their decision. and that is scary. i feel comfort knowing that i am in control. and that makes me want to help. i have power. i have a voice. i am in control. i can and will make mistakes, but what kind of mistakes will they be..?

part two:

some words that sum up my life right now:

natural - everything is okay, its organic, there is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about

nourishing - the food, the people, the conversation, the atmosphere

free - i am holding my world in my hands, and i can do anything with it

educational - but just in the sense that everything is new and i am learning and changing and opening my eyes, and having my eyes opened by others, i am understanding, and seeing things from different perspectives. and i am open to this, finally!

real - this is not a dream, it is real, this is life and life is what you make it, and i am doing my best to make it beautiful and worthwhile 
fortunate - im so blessed, so lucky to be where i am. thank you to my family, my friends, a higher power?
content - on seeing/hearing that i am content my 'sister' said that it is "the best - happiness comes and goes, but contentment is a deeper 'good' feeling". she is right. i am content, right this moment. i am feeling quite neutral. neither happy nor sad. just content.

part three:

some words from my first night in the house.

Today I (officially) moved out of the hostel and into the share house I have been raving on about. It is quiet. Not sound quiet, but people quiet - movement quiet. There’s always noise and rhythm and singing and rapping coming from Ren’s room next door to mine, but it is sort of private, contained. Whereas at the hostel, even if no one else is around, it feels full, which it is. It’s not to say that it is a let down, or that I am unhappy being in the house, because that is certainly not the case. It was just the first time that I have been alone, just with my thoughts, in a couple of weeks. I got my stuff into the room, it was in a pile on the floor. And then, I just sat there for a good 20 minutes, not really thinking about anything in particular. But I couldn’t help but feel sadness. Its like taking a big deep breath when you haven’t taken one for a while. It is refreshing. I sat thinking about how the past couple of weeks have flown by. I cannot believe how quickly I adapted to life in the hostel, how friendships were cemented in those first few days, and how much I will miss being there, despite it being cramped, despite there being very little privacy. And now, here is another huge change. And its crazy really, when you think about it. But it feels good. It feels great. It is exciting and scary and unbelievable. 

My faith in people, in human kind has really been restored. People are beautiful and kind. They care. They trust. You know that a hug can say so much. And the people I have been meeting give good hugs. My brother has a certain way of hugging where you can just sink and feel totally comfortable and safe and lose track of all your thoughts. His hug is a special kind of hug. And then I met 2 people in particular here, who give that same kind of hug. Not exactly the same - but it felt like home. There is this touch of their hands where you just feel accepted and comfortable. It is beyond words - I cannot express it in words. It is a feeling. It puts a smile on my face. It is nice to have an arm around your shoulder...

part four:

Lastly I have written my impressions of everyone I have met so far - I do not intend to publish them without their permission. But here is one for you Pedro, thank you!

I was blessed to meet Pedro Ventura (yes that is his name). He took me to buy a towel on my first day at the hostel. I was an emotional wreck - I could not speak as I would cry. But he took me out. And I got my towel. And we got coffee. And we chatted. We talked about politics and how terrible they can be. We talked about education, and compared the systems in Australia and Portugal. We talked about rich people, and how money is such a waste. And you wouldn’t think we would have a conversation like that, because there is rarely a serious moment with Pedro now. His laugh is truly contagious. And usually whatever bollocks is coming out of his mouth is hilarious, there is always giggles and laughs with Pedro because he is “the best”..

i am very much enjoying writing again. i used to love writing, and then i lost it for a while. words are fascinating. putting a sentence together is thrilling. making a point, explaining something. telling a story. describing, documenting. i love it. thank you for reading. 

an update.

FIRSTLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMA BEAR!

Missing you! I love you! xxxxxxxx

So many things have happened in the last couple of weeks - in fact, it has not even been two weeks yet. I have been very busy, which is lovely. I went and saw San Cisco play at The Haunt the other night, with a lovely girl from Western Australia who is staying at the hostel. I went to a gay bar for the first time. Hung out at a place called Cranks which is a volunteer run, DIY bicycle repair place. Got lost a few times. I have been applying for jobs, and have a trial next week at a little cafe. I am currently in the process of moving into an awesome share house with the most fantastic, welcoming and beautiful group of people.  I feel like I have been here, living in Brighton, for months. I have friends who I feel like I've known for ages, both at the hostel I've been living in, and in the house I'm about to move into. I feel so blessed to have met these people. 

I'm so happy to be moving into this house! Yesterday we sat together, on the floor, eating home made pancakes for breakfast, and organised everything. It is so wonderful to be surrounded by people with the same ideas and views as me. We're getting a compost bin, we would like to sit down and have a meal together at least once a week, we want to use environmentally friendly cleaning products, we want to use less power, support local farmers, bulk buy vegie boxes... Things that I have been brought up doing. It is so nice to be around people who understand that this is the norm, and it isn't as hard as you think. In fact, it isn't really that hard at all. 

We spent the day charity shopping and searching the local street markets for cutlery and mugs and various other house related things. These guys are serious bargain hunters. I've got a lot to learn. It is a bit difficult not having a car.. it makes it hard to transport things. Yesterday we had to get a taxi to move a desk, clothes rack, garbage bin, book shelf and a basket full of my clothes and a toaster back to the house... But the house is close so at least the cost isn't too much of an issue.. I'm looking forward to decorating my room - I have acquired a collection of postcards from around the world on my travels. A bit of blue tack and we're sorted. I'm still trying to find a mattress, a duvet, blankets, pillows...etc. But I am still in the hostel for a few days so I'm not sleeping on the floor just yet... 

It is all very exciting. And funny. There has been lots of laughter along the way. Funny things have happened, embarrassing things have happened. And it has been really nice to share these moments, and laugh together. From having stacks on bikes, to being rejected when offering to share my umbrella with someone, to being almost attacked by a dog in a busy cafe. 

Without sounding lame or fake or like I am bragging, I really am feeling so lucky every day. I am lucky to have met the guys in the park. I'm lucky they asked me to move in with them. I'm lucky to have been introduced to their friends. I'm lucky to have met the people at hostel and formed such close relationships with them so quickly. I'm lucky to be able to talk with my family even though they're so far away. And, I am so bloody lucky to be alive and living in this world.

San Cisco

i've arrived!

I have arrived in Brighton after 2 months of travelling around Japan and Europe with Mum and Dad. I'm staying in a hostel in the middle of Brighton with a bunch of really cool people - from Spain, Portugal, Germany, England, Australia..etc etc. I'm settling in after a fairly rough and emotional start, looking for work and a good time!!

We had a fabulous 2 weeks in Japan, moving around to various different places, visiting friends and exploring wonderful places (there are too many!!) We landed in Osaka, visited Fukuoka, Koishiwara, Saga, Kyoto, Tokyo and a little place called Izu Peninsular with our friend Toru.

Next we flew to Aberdeen, Scotland, via Germany. I got the train back to England to visit my friend and Mum and Dad drove way up North to Lybster where Mum was teaching. After one week I came to Lybster too, via Inverness where Dad picked me up off the train. Dad and I enjoyed a week by the sea in a place called Sea Otter Cottage in Ackergill, while Mum worked and worked and worked! Dad and I visited the Orkney Islands, Thurso, Castletown and John O'Groats (the most Northerly point of the UK mainland).

When Mum's conference was over, the real holiday began. We drove to Glasgow, where we stayed in a fantastic renovated tenement house, and then to Brighton via the Lakes District (stopping for overnight stays in a few little towns - Tirril being one). We stayed in Brighton for a few days, to suss it out for me, before getting the train to London where we stayed in a cramped little flat in Camden (a great central location). Our days were filled finding a hair dresser for me (my dreadlocks are gone!) and visiting galleries and museums (V&A, Tate Modern). We also caught up with a friend who was at the conference with Mum. She lives in the Barbican and has a spectacular view of London from her apartment on the 26th floor.

After London, we headed to Amsterdam on a ship across the English Channel. We had wonderful cabins and comfortable beds. We thought that they were so spacious compared to the flat in London which seemed so much smaller and more cramped. Even the bathroom was better - we had HOT showers and RUNNING water, which was a welcome change from cold showers with no water pressure!

We arrived in Amsterdam early in the morning and had breakfast on the ship before disembarking. We caught the train to Amsterdam from the ship terminal, and then a tram to the flat we were staying in, where we climbed up three stories of tight stairs to our room, which was so open and spacious, and had a lovely balcony too.

In Amsterdam there were great places to eat and plenty of galleries and museums to visit, but with our limited amount of time we didn't think it was worth the 15+ Euro entry fee and we wandered around exploring instead. Of course, we had to go on a boat on the canals which was a fabulous way to view the city. We witnessed a big street march which was noisy and disruptive and downright brilliant, and we agreed that it was more exciting than visiting the galleries and museums instead. And it was free! Dad took the opportunity to take photographs of the people marching which he really enjoyed.

From Amsterdam, we headed to Paris. But not without problems - I managed to leave my bag on a tram just as we were going to catch our train to Paris. Nothing essential or really valuable was lost but all the souvenirs I had collected and made for everyone over the course of our journey were gone - and despite my efforts to locate the bag since, it has not been found! They are sentimentally valuable which can seem more upsetting! 

But Paris... onto better things! Paris is a crazy city, beautiful but totally mad. We stayed in another small flat, but again we had a fantastic central location, just a quick walk from the Sacre-Couer! We watched sunrise and sunset up there, which was beautiful. Of course we visited the Arc de Triumph and the Eiffel Tower, which are beautiful. But we were more amazed with how the traffic use the Arc de Triumph as a roundabout - there seems to be no rules, as many lanes as you wish and as much beeping of your horn as you want. Watching the road rage was fantastic! We were lucky enough to visit another friend of Mum's whom she met at the conference in Scotland. She invited us to dinner at her house - coincidentally just around the corner from where were staying. Her house and art studio were just beautiful (although Pigalle, the area they live in is quite rough in parts). We had to walk past an uncountable amount of gentleman's clubs and sex shops to get there - and we decided to get a taxi home!

From Paris we caught the train to Germany where were stayed in our friend's studio, just next to their flat in Frankfurt. We have not properly caught up in years, so it was wonderful. We were right in the heart of the museum and gallery area so everyday we visited a new place - viewing incredible works by some amazing (and famous) artists (Goethe, Vermeer, etc) which made Mum and Dad very happy - and even I enjoyed it too!

Mum and Dad left for New York before I left - so there was an emotional farewell! And a couple of days after I caught the train back to London. There were many complications from the train being late to having 5 changes instead of one, to having 10 minutes to get through border security instead of 1.5 hours, but I managed to catch my connecting train in Brussels and make it to London. I was able to navigate the London underground, making no mistakes, and get the train to Brighton. I was very proud of myself!

The first couple of days in Brighton were hard, and I had many doubts about whether or not I wanted to do this and if I was capable of being away from home and my family for so long. But being in the hostel has been good, I've been welcomed into the family, and I'm no longer the new girl so I'm feeling much better. I've joined the library and am looking to start yoga classes. I'm currently hunting for a job - just like everyone else here. So the support is good. Everyone understands. I'm in a room with 3 other girls, who are lovely.

So things are looking up. Brighton is fabulous for vegan food, as I knew. There is always something happening here, whether it be a vegie/farmers market or a vintage fair, a live band playing or just a night out dancing at one of the many bars and clubs. I think the hard part will be saying 'No, I can't go out tonight!'

I'm super excited for all that lies ahead, despite missing everyone desperately. My heart aches when I think of home, or see pictures of what I'm missing. But I have nothing to complain about here - a roof over my head, a fabulous and weird 'family' and a world of opportunity and adventure in front of me. I'm meeting new people everyday and making friends. Brighton is a very accepting place, in every way. 

I met some wonderful people a couple of days ago and you would think we've known each other for years. I even have to remind myself. Last night I had my first real home cooked meal in months. We sat around the table, talking and eating like a family. I found this very special, I'm blessed to have been so readily accepted into this group. I have found that people will go out of their way to help you out and make you feel at home. There is really nothing I could possibly complain about here. I am very comfortable. And thankful.  Music plays, incense burns, food is cooked, and eaten and enjoyed. Washing up is done by hand, and there is conversation. There is laughter. There is friendship. Bliss.

London

Paris

Amsterdam

Brighton

Ackergill

John O'Groats

Frankfurt