money and it's value

I am good with money. I always have been. But recently I have been struggling. Not a huge amount, but enough that I have had to borrow some. And it has made me think about it's value. I love working and getting that pay cheque and feeling proud that I've earned it. But then it doesn't seem to go very far. After rent and bills and travel expenses to and from work and food and my donations to a couple of charities and unavoidable, unexpected things that happen, there doesn't seem to be much left. And then what about treating myself, or treating other people? What about saving for upcoming travels and trips and holidays? After all I am on a working holiday. I don't spend money on alcohol, I usually settle for water. I don't eat out very often. I don't go shopping very often. Occasionally I pick up something nice from a charity shop. A significant portion of my money seems to go towards food, but that is important and something that I take great delight in. My diet is the best it has ever been. (And according to recent blood tests I am totally healthy so I must be doing something right there!)

I guess I feel like I work a lot and I work hard at my jobs. And I love them. It costs me between £3.50 and £10.50 to get to and from work, which doesn't seem like much in the scheme of things, but it all adds up. And maybe I shouldn't have accepted a job where I have to pay to get there, but 15 miles is slightly too far to cycle. You seem to have to make a choice between earning enough money to live and a finding a job you actually enjoy. I feel blessed to have the jobs I do and to have the flexibility I have with them as well. But it is always a slightly stressful time when rent is due. 

The hard part about my care jobs is that they are shift work so I find myself filling in time or working overtime for free (which I am certainly not complaining about, because often my 'work' just feels like hanging out with friends anyway or cooking or cleaning or folding washing which I enjoy!) but then I come home feeling like I have been working for 12 hours straight and I'm only get paid for 8 hours, and then I have to take into account travel expenses too. My babysitting job is good, I cycle there so I don't have to worry about paying for public transport. But that fluctuates. Some weeks I might have 3 shifts of 4 hours. Other weeks I might have nothing. So I don't really look at it as a reliable income, I just see it as some extra money on the side.

So the problem of paying for public transport. Firstly, it is not possible for my employers to cover my travel expenses (we have looked into this). Another problem with public transport is that it is UNreliable! The amount of times I have been late to work because my train has been delayed or cancelled or whatever! My answer to this is to problem is to (unfortunately) not use public transport. I have been looking into getting a scooter/motorcycle license. Again, an expensive thing to do (£90 and 3 days to do my CBT course). And first, I have to exchange my Australian license to a UK license (about £50!) And then there is the cost of buying a scooter or bike, getting insurance and storing it somewhere or paying for street parking! It's a tough one. But something I am seriously considering.

Travelling and holidays are something I should be doing while I am here. I am on a Working Holiday VISA and I intend to do lots of both those things, and enjoy them! I have a few exciting trips coming up, and if I follow my current trend of spending (based on past little getaways) then I shouldn't need to spend a huge amount of money. But still, it is money. I've got little jars where I put spare pennies. I try not to rely on my debit card and only use the cash I withdraw to pay for food and travel, but obviously that is not always possible. 

The good thing about not having much money is that you really learn to prioritise. And you find ways of doing things that cost less. Couch surfing instead of paying for accommodation, lift sharing instead of paying for transport, bin raiding for extra food, learning to fix your bike yourself instead of paying for someone else to tinker with it, taking a packed lunch instead of buying food, having clothes swaps with your friends instead of going on shopping sprees for a new wardrobe, making your own cleaning products instead of buying them, buying food in bulk/from wholesalers/farmers markets, using Freecycle or the Freebies section of Gumtree, getting your hair cut for free as a 'hair model' for trainee hairdressers... (Fun fact, I have only bought shampoo twice since I left Australia!)

So I feel like I am good when it comes to money. But the cost of living is just so ridiculous. I still want to be able to enjoy myself and unfortunately sometimes spending money is inevitable. But I am still so lucky to be pretty much financially free and have the opportunities to do the things that I am doing; to work for amazing people; to live with amazing people; and to be surrounded by wonderful things and places. Life still tastes pretty sweet, and I don't think money could pay for half the good things in my life right now. The things I value most don't even have a monetary value. And that is how things will stay.

So, with love. Until next time, G xx


Some images of things that are great!

Updates from the family back home.

The best job ever!

Babysitting - reminding me there is no rush to have kids yet!

Warmer weather and spontaneous outings.

Friends and housemates - old and new.

Caring for the care worker ( and people in general )

Everyone needs a bit of love and affection every now and then. Everyone needs to feel appreciated. Everyone needs to be reminded they are important and needed. But at the very least everyone needs to be acknowledged. Something I have noticed from being a care worker is that the carers are often just sort of in the background, somewhat invisible. We (society) seem to have this way of over-compensating when it comes to disabled people. What should be common curtesy towards everyone seems, at times, to be non-existent for us, as care workers and completely over the top, to the point where is seems insincere to disabled people. Obviously, that is a massive generalisation. But there have been numerous times when I've felt like I'm invisible, or like I am a maid or someone to be seen and not heard. I can imagine what it would be like to be an assistant, or a friend or a colleague of a high profile person. Things would not get done without these people, but they are so often forgotten or ignored. Cleaners, shop assistants, waitresses, bar staff, PA's, rubbish collectors.. In Japan, if you are employed, you are automatically respected. You are giving back to society. It doesn't matter if you're a high flying CEO or a street sweeper. Your job is important. Your role is integral to the functioning of everyday life.

This is not something I have only become aware of through care work, but it was not something I expected to feel. When I was working in the hospitality industry there were times when I felt like I was not good enough because I was clearing plates away or washing dishes or mopping floors. But (unfortunately) that is not an uncommon feeling amongst those working in that industry. As I was saying, we over-compensate. We feel that we have to be overly nice to disabled people (which is great, we should be friendly and caring). But why should that attitude cease to exist with the rest of the population. We should treat everyone with respect, regardless of ability, gender, job, religion, skin colour, etc etc etc! A smile goes a long way. So does a compliment. Or inclusion in a conversation!

I only really got thinking about this today when I was getting cups of tea for the couple I work for in the cafe we go to each week. We go there so often that all of the staff know us, they know how they like their tea, they always say a big hello to us (and I presumed I was included in that). Today, the tea cups were a bit too full, so I went to tip some out. One of the women apologised to me saying that she knows how they usually have it but didn't realise it was for them because she only saw me. I have ordered their tea on countless occasions. I guess it is a petty thing to be annoyed about, so I'm not annoyed. I'm merely observing.

When bumping into their friends in the street, or going to the bank I feel ignored. I felt ignored when we went to the Haemophilia Centre and saw the doctors and nurses. I'm just another PA. I make a point of thanking people, and saying goodbye, but they're already looking at their computer screen or paperwork again. I don't think the teller in the bank has ever made eye contact with me despite my efforts to engage.

Perhaps I am only feeling this because I'm feeling a bit invisible in general right now. A bit unnoticed. It's funny. I am more active and busy right now than I have been for a while, but I have to be because I don't feel like I am getting much out of certain other areas of my life. I am working a lot (three jobs), I am studying Spanish, I am teaching myself the Ukulele and finally feeling like I am getting somewhere with it. I am organised with my food, and my room and my money. I am enjoying this immensely. But there is also a part of me that is deeply lonely. My Mum is the only one who I feel genuinely cares about how my day was, and we speak on a daily basis. I am blessed to be so close with her, and to be able to keep in contact with her so regularly.

I am finding myself spending an increasing amount of time in my room with the door shut, simply because I am afraid of going outside and being boring. I don't want to talk to people and tell them how my day was because, to tell you the truth, I don't think they care. I look forward to going to work, because with my couple, I feel truly appreciated and anything I am unhappy about disappears. I don't necessarily want to be doing extraordinary things each day. I am quite happy being ordinary. I get a lot of joy and satisfaction out of being ordinary and doing ordinary things.

And so I will continue. I will enjoy my extra-ordinary life and not worry about anything else. I am learning to nourish myself, educate myself, occupy myself, enjoy my own company and not depend on other people for my happiness and contentedness. (Although it can and does still effect how I feel, I don't rely on it.)

And on that note, I am going to sign off.

Love and warmth, xx